


i've seen the deepest darkness

by konpeitown



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, College Student Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Finger Sucking, M/M, Pervert Erwin Smith, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn with Feelings, Professor Erwin Smith, columbo eruri supremacy, half beta-ed, levi is kind of a perv too, no regrets, theres not a big age gap dw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-12 12:53:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29884857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/konpeitown/pseuds/konpeitown
Summary: Without titans to worry about, Levi didn't have as many reasons to keep himself tight as a drum, tuned and poised to strike at a moment's notice outside the walls in case some giant came crashing towards him and his squad. While there weren't as many nowadays, living a new life with high rises and cell phones and online shopping, there were still... enough reasons.Levi finds Erwin in this new life and thinks that, maybe, they finally have time to be together.
Relationships: Levi Ackerman/Erwin Smith
Comments: 6
Kudos: 79





	i've seen the deepest darkness

**Author's Note:**

> hi kings i saw [columbo's art](https://twitter.com/DoubleDumbo/status/1367819576755503108?s=20) and this is the result!! go easy on me pls i've never posted anything before oof. enjoy!!

Without titans to worry about, Levi didn't have as many reasons to keep himself tight as a drum, tuned and poised to strike at a moment's notice outside the walls in case some giant came crashing towards him and his squad. While there weren't as many nowadays, living a new life with high rises and cell phones and online shopping, there were still... enough reasons. Somehow, even this life started him out the hard way, scrounging for food, getting in too many fights, and doing whatever he could to protect his mother. He got to see her age in this life, beautifully, and still listens to her in their scheduled calls twice a week with pride and relief that she's still here, treating him like he isn't 25 and is more like 12 and, thankfully, doesn't remember anything about the underground of Paradis. 

It is a gift and a curse that not everyone from before remembers the walls. He's seen some familiar faces all throughout his life, walking down sidewalks, at coffee shops. If they remember, it's like a flash goes off, something changes and the memories rise up like the tide. If they don't, there's nothing, and he swallows the bile from remembering how they died, or worse. Levi has always remembered. 

When he moved to the city, he lugged boxes up the stairs himself insisting that he didn't need help from Isabel and Farlan (but, then again, they knew when a lot was a lot and were still puttering around his apartment, taking things out of boxes, and ordering food to fuel Humanity's Strongest (sure, they remembered)). He didn't expect to be straining with multiple heavy boxes in his arms and hear an unfortunately familiar screech of his name from down the hall, only a moments notice for him to look around the box and see two figures near his door, one barreling towards him with their arms out, whatever they were carrying strewn around at the other's feet. 

"Hange, don't even think about it--" Levi braced for impact anyways, sliding the boxes to the ground with a quick thunk, hands shaking as he reached to meet them in their forceful embrace. It took them a bit to separate, with Hange bursting forth with questions and new parts of their life as they squeezed Levi. Moblit had to get Hange to let go with a knowing smile and a touch on their shoulder, and the interruption made them gasp and pull back, gripping Levi with the same strength that held the clergyman dangling over the wall and searching with wide, scarily serious eyes. 

"Have you found him?!" 

"No." Part of what brought him to the city was to escape the torture of looking for him. In every blonde-haired body, he looked for him, whipping his head around when he'd see it but never finding what he was looking for. In the city, there were so many people around at all times, he wouldn't be able to keep up. The location and the ability to enroll in the university was a welcome distraction, less searching for familiar faces-- any face, really-- and the ability to stop torturing himself over not finding Erwin Smith, because finding him wouldn't even be the hard part. Finding out he doesn't remember.. 

Without titans to worry about, Levi doesn't have to fight for his life, but staying strong and agile helps in more ways than one, and the biggest way is to help him make an income while he lives in the city. Self-defense courses at the YCMA don't pay swimmingly, but it helps with whatever isn't paid by the non-traditional student aid program from the university. So, every Wednesday and Saturday evening, he found himself in the Y, teaching a few college students and middle-aged moms how to protect themselves. The stink of chlorine from the natatorium across the hall always lingered on his clothes when he left and, thinking about it now, he glared through the big glass observation windows as he pushed through the door of the defense room into the hallway. He wouldn't be caught dead in a pool of shared water like that, no matter the amount of chemicals in it. The ick of too many bodies made his skin crawl. 

Sitting on the bench just outside, he dropped his bag to the floor and pulled out his folded-up sweatshirt, undoing the careful folds to pull it over his head before he went outside into the moderately chilly fall evening. Tugging it over his head, he stopped abruptly as a loud laugh echoed down the hall from a room just beyond the pool, the locker rooms. They were always a little loud and stunk of chemicals and smelly men, so Levi never set foot beyond those doors. 

Something about the laugh though, made him pause with the fabric still shrouding his head, heartbeat loud enough in his ears that everything else seemed to disappear and get louder all at the same time. He had the wherewithal to pull the sweatshirt down over his head, letting it slide down his torso and hang loose around his waist, but he didn't have much more than that to spare. 

That laugh. There was no way. 

He wasn't good at math, but even if he had Hange there to run the numbers (they had already, it was something ridiculous with a lot of decimal points), he knew damn well that it would be far too coincidental that he'd find him, especially so soon. Would Erwin even want to see him? Would he be angry? Levi's mind ached with memories, kneeling in the grass as hurled boulders crashed around them, Erwin unflinchingly thanking him, the roof, the curve of his bicep under his fingers, the rattle of the syringe. The bed, flowers, bone fragments sewn into his pockets. No regrets. But now, with time and leisure to reflect the loss... 

Would Erwin remember him at all? 

Suddenly hasty, he grabbed his bag and zipped it up fast, bolting to his feet as quickly as he could manage. If he left, if he left now, maybe he wouldn't have to face it, face him. With a creak, the locker room door pushed open, revealing-- a large blonde, but not him, followed immediately by the one who made his blood run cold and searingly hot at the same time, fast and slow, his knees aching to run. 

Erwin looked good. He looked happy. Safe. Intact. Older than himself by a couple of years max, face still creased with the end of a laugh at whatever Mike, beside him, had said. Levi's eyes shot between them; Erwin hadn't looked his way, but he wasn't sure if Mike had, but that wasn't a problem if he didn't remember. He still had a shot to make a break for it. 

Turning the opposite way, he probably had 20 feet to walk to push through the door to the outside and his legs pushed him as far and as fast as he could without looking nuts. Only a few more feet and his hand started to rise in anticipation of slamming the bar to open it, his other hand gripping the strap of his bag. Freedom was close, but not close enough. 

"Levi?" The voice sounded the same as it did when it haunted his dreams, long nights spent awake thinking of what they did and didn't do. Like he was commanded, he stopped dead in his tracks. Turning, seeing Erwin all lit up by the awful fluorescent lighting, his hair a messy halo after a shower, white t-shirt stretched tight over his chest and biceps-- it was all too much to bear. He looked shocked and a touch of something soft and wonderful, but Levi knew that he himself looked worse, little tears welling up in his eyes from it all. 

"Erwin." 

\--

The cafe was cozy compared to the nip in the air outside, and Levi was happy to wrap both of his red, still clammy hands around the generic white teacup, fiddling with the string of the teabag that steeped in the water. He got cold pretty easily, but at the moment he could hardly notice anything beyond the big, broad man across from him who was emptying another packet of sugar into his own cup of hot tea. 

"It's basically a cup of sugar at this point. I don't know how you still have teeth," Levi mumbled with no heat behind his words, bringing his cup to his lips mostly so he could hide behind it and warm his nose on the steam. 

Erwin's smile broke out fast, his cheeks dimpling as he placed the empty paper on the saucer with the others. He smiled easier now, with much more practice. "So not much has changed? You know, nowadays there's something called health insurance that keeps my teeth from falling out. I can have as much sugar as I want," lifting the cup to his lips, he swallowed another smile with his first sip of tea. 

They had caught up since the first day, a little, enough. Exchanged numbers. That day at the Y, Mike said he smelled the same and Levi couldn't even muster the strength to glare at him. He continued to maintain composure as Erwin insisted they meet that weekend to catch up. Alone. Heart racing, he had accepted his phone back with Erwin's number planted in it. His composure crumbled when he put out his hand to shake Erwin's in a goodbye and his former commander ignored it to wrap him in a hug, squeezing him quickly but solidly. That had rattled him to his core, and as soon as they parted and Levi turned to leave, he had to find a bench to sit at before heading down the street and home in order to stop the quiver in his legs and the ache in his chest. 

His legs had taken him to Hange's where he banged on the door until Moblit answered, almost immediately stepping aside to let Levi through. He spent most of that evening sitting across from Hange on the floor of their living room, the coffee table between them holding the weight of Levi's shoulders and head as he slumped on it and spilled his woes. "This isn't fair." 

"Of course it is! Now you finally get to tell him how you feel, how you've felt all this time," Hange had their laptop on the table, open in front of them as they graded lab reports for the upper-level chemistry and biology courses they taught at the university. They looked over the top of their screen at him, toothy grin looking eerie in the low light of the living room with the glare of the screen glinting. "Unless you're still too chicken." 

"Oh, you're really one to talk. When are you going to tell Moblit that you--" he was cut off by Hange's hand slapping over his mouth, the grin gone and replaced by a twitch of terror and a glare. He moved away from their hand and fixed them with his own steely look. 

"I don't know what you're talking about.." They were roommates, but after a life and a half of being each other's companion without saying more, it was hard to take the first step. Too many what it's, Levi knew it well. "Besides, it's different. This is Erwin. He's always felt that way for you, you know that. You were always special to him." 

"I don't know what you're talking about," he mirrored, leaning back and tightly folding his arms over his chest. Useless. Never ask for love advice from a best friend who has the same problems. 

"Health insurance. Must be nice." Back in the present, Levi felt a wash of embarrassment. Even now, Erwin was more.. mature, put together, well-off. He was only just starting his vet tech program and his side job at the Y was a side job for a reason while Erwin had a full-time job with obvious benefits. Briefly, he wished he had more under his own belt to preen to get his attention, his pride. "Where do you work?"

He nearly spat out his tea when Erwin replied. Levi supposed it made sense that he was a professor in this life, following the footsteps of his father again in wanting to teach, but it was a pain that suddenly all of the veterans from before were much more settled into their lives than he was. If it was anyone but Erwin, he may have been bitter that he was given the short end of the stick once again, scrounging for money for a certification program, signing up for food pantries, and the like, but he couldn't be mad. Not when Erwin had made the ultimate sacrifice. Not when he had helped him make it. 

Eventually, he let Erwin pry out more about him, sharing his enrollment in the vet tech program (which seemed to surprise Erwin, but not too much. "You loved your horse. I know you must be great for it.") (Levi reacted the same way to finding out Erwin was a history professor, working on his doctorate and writing a dual thesis in historical wars and British literature-- “Oh, so you’re the guy obsessed with WWII documentaries, I get it.” “Listen, maybe, but not like that--”) and his employment at the YMCA. "Self-defense... maybe I should sign up. Do you do one-on-one lessons?" Erwin's face was the picture of stoicism to anyone else who would've looked their way, but Levi knew what the slight tilt to his lips and shine to his eyes meant to show his amusement. 

Suddenly, visions of the few times they sparred on dusty dirt training fields filled his head, Erwin's normally perfectly styled hair falling out of place and hanging over his forehead, his crisp white shirt unbuttoned, bolo tie loose, and sleeves rolled up over strong forearms. Worn but polished boots shifting the dirt to solidify his stance as Levi climbed him like one of the 80-meter trees they'd scaled outside the walls, distracting him with a stroke of fingers through his disheveled hair before kicking out the back of his leg, shoving him to the ground and pinning that wall of muscle beneath his thighs. Hand to hand had always been a dance with them, the closest Levi had ever gotten to showing him his true feelings, the only thing they had time for, and the way Erwin would gasp out a laugh with a flush on his cheeks from exertion alone, surely, when Levi would best him was better than anything he could have hoped to have, in any life. 

Red bloomed on Levi's face and he quickly objected, "Shut up, stop patronizing me. We both know you don't need help with that." Levi glanced away and rubbed the back of his hand over his cheek, willing away the color. "You look ridiculous. You look like the product of Captain America and Paris Hilton having a baby or something. Nobody is gonna be attacking you anytime soon, not anymore." 

Erwin ducked his head into another sip of tea with a quiet laugh, pondering. "Perhaps you're right, but I'd still love to try it sometime. It could be like old times." 

Shifting in his seat hidden by the table, Levi gave a curt nod and held his gaze. That was exactly what he was afraid of. 

\--

“Ugh, fuck,” Levi grunted hard as his back hit the padded floor for the fifth time in a row that evening, squeezing his eyes shut against the swirling and blinking the ceiling was doing after being knocked down. Taking a deep breath, he rubbed his hands over his face, raking his hands back to flip his bangs out of his face, opening his eyes as soon as he felt the overhead light blocked out by a looming figure. 

Erwin had that halo look again (but then again, maybe he was hallucinating), his eyes wide as he assessed him. “Are you alright?” Not seeing anything obviously wrong with him, he offered a sweaty hand to help Levi up from his place on the floor and he took it despite the sweat. “You never let me beat you this much. Or, well, you didn’t before. Is something wrong? Do you not feel well?” 

Levi had walked to get a sip of water from the bottle he brought, but at Erwin’s questions, he ripped the bottle from his mouth and sent him a less than heated glare. “I’m not letting you beat me,” he spat, but that wasn’t necessarily the truth and he knew Erwin knew him well enough to tell when he lied. He had finally taken Erwin up on the offer to give him one-on-one “lessons,” which turned out to be roughly 10 minutes of demonstrative work of self-defense techniques with the rest of the hour divulging into wrestling, sparring and talking. Erwin liked to linger with him at the door after watching Levi wipe down the padded floor and lock up before they parted, Levi heading home and Erwin heading to swim laps at the pool with Mike. Only once had he pretended to forget something long enough that he got to peer out the door at Erwin walking up to the pool, shirtless and wearing some obscenely tight-looking swim jammers. He had bolted after that, unable to keep watching lest he be in hot water himself and in public, no less. 

Seeing that earlier in the week led to the issue he was having today. It was embarrassing, beyond embarrassing, because in the past life he spent hours and hours with Erwin, surrounded by candlelight and the smell of his cologne and ink and paperwork. Training under and with him, being a muscle for his decisions, his companion in some things and his equal in others. Being the one Erwin went to when he needed the truth, when he needed a friend, and when he needed more-- but not that much more, they hadn’t gotten that far. He spent half his life following him and he followed him even after he was gone, his ghost lining his decisions and haunting his sleepless nights, wakeful dreams of what if making his mind ragged and his attitude worse. Perhaps at the time, they were both too afraid, afraid to take it further, afraid that once they did it would make the inevitable loss too much to bear. But he bore that loss regardless, and now that he was this close again, it was difficult to not take that leap and embarrassing that it was so difficult in the first place.

But he hesitated, and continued to, for Erwin’s sake. Erwin had options in this life, so many more options. This time, he wasn’t responsible for the rabid dog he dredged up from the underground. This time, he got to choose who he was around and what he did and who he trusted. While Levi never stopped caring, never stopped burning his flame for him, Erwin could change his mind. But, god, was it hard to be selfless in love.

So, he was embarrassed about being in love. Being in love, and being absolutely achingly, mind-numbingly horny for the same man he had loved before. And, he had that exact man grabbing his legs and arms and torso, throwing him around like a wet noodle and pinning him to the mat like it was his job. While he truly wasn’t letting Erwin beat him on purpose, he had other things on his mind and it only got worse the longer this went on, the more cafe visits they had, the more long talks on the benches as the sun went down. 

Hange was convinced they’d been dating this whole time. A new kind of self-defense technique was tested on them that day, too, with Levi driving their face into the couch and not letting them up until they screamed mercy. 

Sighing, Levi rubbed his fingers across the scowl crease between his brows and tried again, “I’m not letting you beat me, and I’m not sick. I just have a lot on my mind.” 

Taking that answer as the truth, Erwin nodded and came a few steps closer, sharing his air but not forcing him. “Do you want to talk about it?” He bent to reach for his own water and a towel for sweat, and from Levi’s angle, he could see the way the legs of his shorts drifted up as he bent, showing off the compression shorts underneath. Wait, no. It was those fucking jammers. That obscene bathing suit he saw him in the other day, acting like compression shorts and wearing away at the thread holding together Levi’s self-restraint.

“Fuck,” Levi felt his resolve snap when Erwin didn’t immediately rise up, still searching for his small towel in his bag. In what felt like milliseconds and years all at the same time, Levi reached a hand out and lightly trailed his fingertips along the tight band of spandex wrapped inches above his knee, a breath away from pinching at his thick thigh. “Isn’t this your bathing suit? Isn’t it… tight?” 

Fingers closed around his wrist and hesitated for a moment before sliding them up higher, just barely through the leg hole of his shorts and no further. Levi looked to his face, where electric eyes were trained right on his, searching, questioning, testing. Asking. “Not too tight. They’re compression shorts too,” he said, almost shy despite what was happening, what he was suggesting. “I wanted to make sure I didn’t look indecent around you.” 

Heartbeat fluttering at the front of his suddenly too warm shirt, he barked a laugh, maybe a little too loudly for the moment, but he didn’t care. Swallowing, he ran his fingers a little more confidently over the swell of Erwin’s thigh, reaching back down to snap the spandex against the spot above his knee. “‘Indecent’? That’s funny, considering what you look like in that fucking shirt,” Levi sounded incredulous, edging on quietly hysteric, brows pinching together in disbelief. 

Erwin straightened up, finally, and looked down at his shirt, seeming to find nothing wrong with the way his biceps strained the white fabric, how the cotton stretched, conformed, and bunched around his chest and left absolutely nothing to the imagination (what was there to imagine? His nipples could rip through at any second, for fucks sake). Reaching a hand up, Erwin pinched at the material of the shirt to pull it away from his chest, sending it back against his sweat-tacky skin when he let it go. “Is it too tight?” Placing his hands on his own chest, he flattened them, smoothing the material down over his torso. “I didn’t realize. You always seem to pay extra attention to me when I wear it so I just thought you liked it on me. That’s why I wear it so often.” Hands suddenly pausing on his stomach, he looked at Levi through his lashes, corners of his mouth twitching up into a smile. “I guess I was right then, huh?”

Later, he’d realize how thankful he was for already closing up his water bottle. But for now, he forgot about it completely, dropping it with a thunk and roll against the padded floor, opting to use his hands for something much more useful instead. He reached out and gripped Erwin’s shoulders tight, sweeping a leg over, around, and behind Erwin’s to knock the back of his knees and ankles to send him to the floor. Instead of letting him drop, though, he caught him, lowering him to the ground fast and climbing over him to pin him. Erwin’s strength alone could best him and flip their positions, but he didn’t, instead trusting Levi’s strong grip, his guiding hands, and the press of thighs around his waist.

Levi’s hands hovered over his stomach, unsure of what to do now that he got this far, unsure if he overstepped some line, logically knowing he hadn’t since Erwin had wrapped his arms around him and helped guide himself down below Levi, smiling all the way. Looking up and locking eyes with him again, Levi looked for confirmation, for permission, anything. Erwin’s pretty cheekbones were painted with pink, a smile wider than he’d maybe ever seen on him showing off his (health-insurance-maintained) perfect teeth, hands coming to settle high up on Levi’s thighs, dimples carving out his cheeks in such an innocently boyish way that Levi felt his stomach drop and fill with butterflies all at once. While he had been interested in touching any part of the hot body spread out between his legs, he suddenly had a different thought in mind; his hands finally settled on Erwin’s face, his quivery fingers finally starting to settle down as he slid his ruddy knuckles along the sharp cut of his jaw, fingertips touching his adam’s apple as it bobbed over a swallow, and settled again to hold his face more tenderly than anything else he’s ever held in this life by far. Leaning down into his space, he let out a shaky exhale, sharing a quiet laugh with Erwin who looked just as shell-shocked and happy as he felt. “So you wanted to look good for me?” His voice was quiet but loud enough for Erwin to hear him and nod, already starting to lean up, eyes focused on his target. Levi only had a moment to prepare himself before his eyes slipped closed and their lips met. 

Kissing Erwin was just as easy as following his orders on the battlefield, letting him walk him home when it got to be too late and the street lights would be on, and listening to him talk on and on about mind-numbingly boring war strategies and how they relate to someone’s old grandpa in medieval Britain writing a sonnet about something. He didn’t have to understand it to love to listen to him, to be in his presence and enjoy every second without a threat or looming fear around the corner. 

Erwin’s hands slid the rest of the way up Levi’s thighs, gingerly squeezing at his hips before sliding further, one up his shirt and over the ridges of his muscles and the other up the soft front, slipping back around Levi’s neck to hold him in the kiss, deepening it as soon as he let him. Levi’s head was full of bees, honey bees crawling and buzzing around the sweetness brewing in his brain so much that he was sure it would ooze from his ears at any moment. He cupped Erwin’s face like it was glass, like it would shatter at any moment-- but it didn’t, and he stayed firm and warm and alive beneath him. Very much alive, tongues meeting and sliding together like they were made to, hands grasping a little more desperately, thighs clenching to prevent hip movements as much as possible. Fuck, they were at Levi’s work.

Levi pulled back to breathe, noses bumping as they shared air and smiles, though he had a nagging, clawing thought at the back of his mind. “I work here. I won’t get cum on my mats.” Pulling back more to sit atop his stomach, still straddling, he fixed him with a practiced, stony look, though a twitch of his lips may have leaked through. “Get your sweaty ass up and help me wipe everything down so we can go to my place.” 

While Erwin had been chasing him with his hands, the promise of more made him accept his current fate. One thing about getting involved with Levi that should’ve been a given-- there would always be cleaning involved. 

\--

Shoving through the door of Levi’s apartment, they stumbled together as one being until Levi took the lead, tugging on Erwin’s arm to guide him through the darkened apartment. He flipped on a couple of lights as he went but, honestly, he wasn’t all that proud of the place, especially knowing Erwin probably had some nice flat in a high rise deeper in the city and closer to the university if the shiny, black BMW that he escorted Levi to outside of the YMCA and parked in his apartment's garage said anything about his financial situation. The place was clean, of course, but it was fairly ragtag considering most of it was gifted, handmade, or things he could just barely afford. 

Scenery aside, he pulled Erwin into his bedroom and backed him up with hands on his stomach until the backs of his knees hit the bed. Sitting, Erwin had better leverage to pull Levi into his lap, kissing him like he hadn’t almost climbed over the center console of his own car for him just minutes before, big hands groping up and under his shirt again, one working to the back, moving down to squeeze him through his pants. Levi’s brows drew together as he groaned, almost in pain with how bad he wanted him and how, oh, that was a little bit of real pain as Erwin pinched his ass, making him gasp and pull back to give him a look, though any heat was probably cooled by his wet and swelling lips, red cheeks, and low lids. “Pinching? Is that some kink of yours I should know about?”

“Not really,” Erwin murmured, leaning in to press kisses to his jaw, the line of his neck. His fingers kept roaming, running in a semi-curved line along the cheek of his ass, only stopping to dip below his pants and reach inside to curl around the elastic he found along that same line. “You wore briefs today. I could see the line of them since you came in... I guess we’re both a little distracted by each other’s clothes today.” Levi gasped again as Erwin got him back from earlier, snapping the elastic of his briefs hard enough to leave a thin red blush of a line across his cheek. 

“Pervert. Nasty old man,” Levi grunted, pushing off of Erwin’s lap and out of his hands to crawl across the bed and get into his nightstand, pulling out a bottle of lube and looking over his shoulder at him. “Are you clean? I felt that fucker under me and I don’t have condoms big enough for you.”

Any other man would have taken that as an ego stroke, but Erwin looked down at his lap for a moment, looking nervous suddenly. “I’m clean but.. Is it too big for you? Levi, I really don’t want to hurt you--”

“Stop. You won’t.” Levi was already bent over and working himself open, face pressed to the bed and two fingers stretching quicker than he probably should’ve. Hands were on him fairly quickly though, big, hot hands on his hips, smoothing over the newly exposed skin, pushing the discarded shorts off the bed, and tugging at the waistband of the briefs until they pinched low on his thighs. 

Thankful that he could hide his red face in the sheets, Levi felt his legs tense as he added another, getting lost in his stretching when the click of the lube cap resounded and another finger, thicker, circled and massaged until it could fit in with his own. Impatient, his own fingers moved quicker as Erwin took his time, something quiet and appreciative falling from his lips that Levi couldn’t hear over the push of their fingers and the sound of his own breath. Erwin’s free hand trailed lines down his inner thigh, tracing over the goosebumps that dimpled his skin before reaching forward to stroke him, trailing a line over the leaking tip before removing his hand altogether. A moment later, Levi decided he was stretched enough and, turning over onto his back, he inhaled sharply through his nose, looking disheveled as he looked at the blonde looming over him on his knees. 

If he thought seeing him in his bathing suit was obscene and indecent, this had to be something else altogether. Erwin’s shorts were discarded, only his jammers hugging tightly at his hips. Normally, Levi would be less than pleased with someone in a bathing suit trying to fuck him in his bed, but with the way Erwin’s cock looked all wrapped up in spandex, straining, compressed against his hip and making the dark fabric darker with arousal. Up higher, his already tight shirt was rucked up over his abs and staying there, and higher than that-- Erwin was sucking on the finger he had dragged through Levi’s precum, lashes fluttering shut when he licked it off, realizing he was caught after a moment, hand dropping like he got caught in the cookie jar. 

“Pervert. Bastard,” Levi whispered breathlessly, reaching down to start sliding his briefs the rest of the way down. “Please fuck me already, Erwin, I’ve waited all my fucking life, just do it already--”

Erwin interrupted his work and grabbed just under his knees and pushed them against his torso, continuing to push until Levi was bent in half. “Wow, fuck, wow. You’re.. You’re so flexible,” he said with his mouth dropped open, licking his lips as he looked him over before meeting his eyes again. “Are you ready? I could probably come just from this. You have to fuck me, next."

Snorting at his babbling and sincerity to hide the rush of feeling it gave him, Levi bit his lip and looked away, bangs hiding his nervous gaze. Under Erwin’s gaze, he felt shy, like he wanted to impress him with everything he could do, with everything he was. “Of course I'm flexible. I do yoga to stay limber for, uhh… for class,” panting, he lost his train of thought as Erwin pulled himself out of his shorts, slicked himself, and lined up to push at his rim, blue eyes flicking Levi’s face and where they were about to meet. “Do it, fucker, do it already, before I lose my patience-- oh fuck.” 

Levi’s head flung back as Erwin pushed inside, lips parted in a silent moan as he fit every inch that could inside. Erwin, on the other hand, sounded like a desperate man, groaning the whole way, leaning his body down as he composed himself, keeping Levi bent in half as far as he could go. Bracketed by his calves, Erwin leaned in to press an open-mouthed kiss to Levi’s waiting lips and felt himself move impossibly closer, twin groans and whispered mixing into their kiss. 

God, he could get used to this. Levi could barely think once Erwin grabbed the back of his knees, pushed back up onto his own, and started a punishing sequence of thrusts into him, Levi being bent so far that he could just about watch it happen, watch the way he disappeared inside of him over and over again. Though, he had no reason to watch that when Erwin was right there above him, lip caught between those perfect teeth, jaw taut with concentration, whispering praises to him anytime he could think to get any words out, distracted himself by the way he fit so well inside, the way Levi looked at him like he was everything because, simply, he was. 

“My god, Levi. My god,” he worshipped, head hanging for a moment as he lost himself to his motions, to Levi’s groans and keens of pleasure. Looking back up after a moment with eyes bleary from arousal and exertion, he slowed long enough to watch Levi tugging his own shirt up, sweat sliding down the side of his forehead and into his hairline, face feverishly red. “Are, are you okay, baby?” 

Levi got impossibly redder at the nickname but nodded, brows tight in concentration, glare at the ready despite his vulnerable position. “It’s hot, fuck, you sweating over me.. Big dick, fucking, ruining my favorite shirt..” It had always (and probably always would be, now, with the memory association) been his favorite shirt because the baby blue had made him think of the eyes that watched him like he was some special thing now, like he was a personal gift all wrapped up with a bow for Erwin and Erwin alone. In a way, that was probably true. 

Reaching down under and around his legs once he had some relief, he used Erwin’s slow motions to sneak his hands in to spread himself wider, letting out a high, shuddery gasp as Erwin’s thrusts seemed to send him deeper each time. Levi’s response seemed to convince his partner to keep going, to speed back up, to grip his knees tighter and fuck him hard enough to move the bed close enough to the wall that the frame got in a few good knocks to the old plaster. Still holding himself open with one hand, Levi moved the other to wedge through his legs and stroke himself, coming after just a few well-placed touches. That sent him tensing, shivering, moaning Erwin’s name, not for the first time that night or any other night, for that matter, and spurting up onto his stomach and legs and briefs. All that pushed Erwin over too, rolling his hips as he filled him, coming with a grunt and a heavy breath of relief, his hands moving so gently to release Levi’s legs. 

Erwin rubbed at the reddening marks around his knees, feeling a splash of guilt though the look on Levi’s face told him to feel otherwise. The last thing Levi remembered after that was kissing Erwin with as much passion as a well-fucked man could manage before flopping back on the bed and shutting his eyes. 

\--

Turns out, he only blissed out for about five minutes. That time, though, was enough to let Erwin undress the both of them and fumble to look for a bathroom so he could find something more than tissues to clean everything up. 

Rolling over slowly and carefully, Levi watched him figure out a room he hadn't ever been in before and hadn't seen completely lit up yet, since only the lamp had been on since they stumbled in. "Erwin. Help me up, and we can shower." Holding out a hand, he waited, a weird wave of nerves crashing over him again like he was scared to be rejected after such intimacy. Though, Erwin didn't disappoint. He appeared back at his side in a flash, a true gentleman with the way he took the offered hand and helped him to his feet and steadied him since the blood needed to make its way back to his toes. 

Both of them stood there, stark naked with linked arms, looking at Levi's legs as though they could see the blood moving though they most definitely couldn't. Looking at each other's faces at the same time made them both flush, Erwin smiling one of those boy-next-door smiles again, Levi pulling his free hand to once again will away the redness. The silence ticked on for a moment and Levi's feet started to staticky tingle back to life.

"Levi-" "Erwin-"

Levi shook his head first and nodded to insist that Erwin speak first, looking away in embarrassment, the clawing of that beast was back again. 

"Levi, I just," Erwin hesitated, blinking slow, watching Levi shift uncomfortably, assuming it was both the physical condition and the palpable mood making him antsy. He placed a steadying hand over the forearm that was wrapped around his own for support. "I want you to know that you're not obligated to do this with me again. You don't have to have me in your life like this.. I feel like...maybe before, before you may have not had any options and would have felt like you had to be around me and care for me, but it's a different life now, and you don't have to return my feelings, I'll understand--"

"What the fuck are you talking about?" It had taken him a second to realize that Erwin was spouting the exact shit he had tortured himself over for the entirety of their time existing once again in each other's lives. Once it sunk in, Levi had whipped his head up to look at Erwin-- surely looking ridiculous with wild hair and cum leaking down his leg-- and set him with an incredulous look, eyes blown wide and lips parted in shock. "Are you kidding me? Just stop talking." Taking a moment to calm himself down, he turned and moved his hands to hold onto Erwin's biceps, squaring them off so he could stare up at him. "Quit thinking I don't want to be around you. You were the one to tell me to live a life that I won't regret. I don't regret you." Levi took a sharp breath in through his nose to steel himself and prevent any extra emotion from rising up on his face, like the wetness that threatened to become something more stressful. "I'm not as good at saying things as you are. But I can say for a fact that after living the rest of that fucked up hellhole of a lifetime without you, I know I don't want to do that again. Ever. Especially not that I finally have you back." 

Erwin had wrapped him up in a crushing hug and an even better kiss after that, one that made him shake apart at the seams only to be hand-stitched back together again. Once Erwin had finished (for the most part) fluttering kisses all over Levi's face, he was dragged to the bathroom to get cleaned up. Lathering up Erwin's hair was a pain what with the angle and size of the shower, but the domesticity of it all laid Levi's heart open and raw, memories itching at his ears bringing back thoughts of Erwin's lost arm, how he had helped him shave, and how thankful he was that he hadn't had to experience major pain like that again. 

Back in Levi's bed, Erwin laid out on his back under the covers, curling an arm around Levi at his side, who was still propped up on his elbow to look at him, brows stitched together and a whisper of a pouting scowl pulling at his still-pink upper lip. Erwin took the hand he didn't have wrapped around him and ran his fingers along the tight swell of Levi's muscled bicep, stroking lightly at the soft skin at the crook of his elbow, drinking in his strength with his eyes and seeming none-the-wiser to Levi's look. "You’re so beautiful.. I've always wanted to touch you like this-- wait, what? What's wrong?" Finally glancing up, Erwin saw the face he was making and questioned him, stilling his fingers on his arm. 

"Nothing," he mumbled, still studying him before he lifted his arm up, reaching towards his face and gliding his finger along the pretty swell of Erwin's lips, thinking about kissing him again, thinking about what it could be like to kiss him every single day of his life. If he was lucky, Erwin might just let him. At the tender look on Erwin's face, Levi felt his cheeks heat, and he quickly stuck his fingertip between his lips, tapping his front tooth. "I'm just checking to make sure your teeth still haven't fallen out. You know. The health insurance, or whatever."

Never one to miss an opportunity, Erwin bit back a smile and closed his lips around the tip of his finger, opening his jaw just a little wider to allow it to fall between his teeth to suck on it with little power, mostly just to lave his tongue over the calloused pad of it and press his teeth gently to the first knuckle in a kiss of its own. Levi silently gasped, lips popping open as he got closer to watch Erwin's blissed-out face, his big perfect eyebrows pulled together and the start of a blush on his cheeks. Only wasting a moment more of time, Levi pulled his finger out of Erwin's mouth with a soft noise, looking down at the now-shiny finger with offense before staring at Erwin's smug-looking face once again. Heat crawling up Levi's neck, he wiped the wetness along the swell of Erwin's chest, quickly flopping to the side as Erwin laughed.

"Pervert."

**Author's Note:**

> my [twt](https://twitter.com/undercoverstink) come say hi!!


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